


Carrie Fisher: The Hell Of Our Making

by Carliro



Category: Real Person Fiction
Genre: Bible, Canonical Character Death, Gen, Hell, Punishment
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-29
Updated: 2016-12-29
Packaged: 2018-09-13 03:57:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 426
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9105703
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Carliro/pseuds/Carliro
Summary: Carrie Fisher went to HELL! Will she survive!?





	

Carrie Fisher opened her eyes and smelled brimstone. She was in an ugly and evil place, that looked like a lake side resort but was made of FIRE instead of WATER.

"Where the hell am I?" she said confusedly.

"Ha, you said 'hell'!" said Andras, the owl-faced Marquis in goetian tradition, who was drinking some beer.

"You're in HELL mate!" said Steve Irwin's decaying corpse being eaten alive by botfly worms, centipedes, fungi and flycatchers, the latter were pecking at his bisected weiner.

"I can't be in hell, I'm a good christian!" said Carrie Fisher indignantly and lyingly.

"Bitch, it no matter if you were a christian or not, because all women are damned!" said Phenex sassily and black-woman-ly, " Revelation 14:3-4, only MEN untouched by WOMYN will go to Heaven, capiche?"

"But that's not fair!" cried Carrie Fisher sadly like a koala of misery.

"Fares are for tourists, kid. Consider it a free lesson in street savoir faire from New York's coolest quadruped" said Dodger, who was also owned by Disney and suffering forever.

Carrie Fisher was very sad. Even as the demons bent her over and shoved a massive barbed wire plug and dislodged her sphincter she was too sad to care. Even as they covered her in shit and cut off her breasts and filled the holes with sodium she was too sad to care. Even as she was put on top of a pile of rotten aborted fetuses and had three thousand shoved in her ass, pussy, ears and nostrils she was too sad to care. Even when her ass was taken by Lucifer himself and all her internal organs exploded our of her eye sockets she was too sad to care.

Eventually the demons began to think she was very boring.

"Damn, not even a moan of excruciating pain!" said Mr. Tumnus, he loved to rape CS Lewis.

"Let's just leave her in a corner, maybe as a bucket" said David Bowie, who was himself tied up and had a light bulb shoved on his ass.

And so they did, tying her up and placing twizzers on her vagina, so they could use it was a bucket or as a drinking cup. But even that was too boring so they just left her in the attic.

Forever.

Over time dust collected there, and she snezzed. Periodically, massive columns of dust emerge from her snatch, covering the earth with sandstorms.

And this is why, 456 million years after mankind has become extinct, the world is a supercontinent dominated by vast deserts.

Amen.


End file.
